When life hits you in the face

“Never forget yesterday, but always live for today, because you never know what tomorrow can bring, or what it can take away”

I was thinking what my next blog topic could be, what I could complain about next. We all have moments when we complain, moan or are just annoyed by daily things. Selfish things that do not matter. Hell, if the taxi that pushed in front of me this morning is the worst of my problems then I consider myself blessed.

I was thinking of writing today, but my heart is just so sore. So broken. A lady I grew up with, have known for many years, went to school with, lost her little girl yesterday. I cannot explain why or how it hit me like it did, but it did. Instant tears. Why? Because it could have been me. I looked at my little M, who I had just fought with for throwing a tantrum, and I sobbed.

I have been exceptionally blessed to have experienced minimal giref and death in my life. So when I hear of this, I don’t really know how to feel. But this, this hit me right in the face. It was too close to home. Too often we complain about petty things and yes, my next post will probably be my opinion or complaint about something else but I think we just need to look at what we have in our lives, go on our knees and thank God for all the joy and blessings we have. We have to know that we are blessed if all that upsets us in a day is a darned taxi or an unfriendly shop assistant.

I do everything in my power to protect my loved ones. I have this terrible fear of losing them. I drive my husband crazy by telling him to ALWAYS let me know if he is working late, because then I know he won’t be home normal time. If he doesn’t let me know, I start worrying that something may have happened. I do all I can to make sure little M is safe at all times. I have only driven in a car with her out her seat twice (once down the road, and yesterday also down the road) and both times I regretted my decision because if something happened, I am to blame because I didn’t protect her. Life will still do what it does and hand you terrible blows when you least expect it but at least then I know I did my part to keep my loved ones safe; what life chooses is not up to me thereafter.

Too often we get angry about petty things. The husband didn’t put water in his porridge bowl now I have to scrub it extra hard. Little M grabbed my empty coffee cup that I had left on the table and dropped it. Are those really THAT important? Yes anger, frustration and worry are all normal emotions and we will always feel it at some stage. But I think there are times when we need to let go a little. Take a step back and look at your life and say “thank you for what I have”, not “if only I had this”.

I must say I treasure moments a lot. I would much rather be home with my little family than out and about, but I still know when to make time for others. I also ensure not to get caught up in life too much, but that moments together are priceless and will last a lifetime. Forgive me if I don’t want to attend every event or stay out the whole weekend, but as much as socialising is important, so is being with my family. My husband likes to joke that taking this or that job will bring more money and then I can shop, but my answer always stays the same. I am happy as we are and we want our daddy at home instead of just sending money home.

Appreciate your significant others, your parents, your friends, your child/children. You never know when it could change in a heartbeat. Don’t live your life in fear; but choose your battles. Say thank you for what you have. Is getting angry or jealous that one friend talks to another friend more than you really worth it?

My heart SHATTERS for each and every parent that has lost a child. Because now I know the love of a parent and I will treasure all my moments I have with little M, my precious baby girl who is my whole world. Thank you God for all my blessings. Help me not get caught up in life and take my blessings for granted.

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