Three’s a family

The question I get asked most often these days – when is the next one coming? No Martha, there is no next one! Then you get the eyes, the comments and the questions. My life, my choices, kapish?

Okay but seriously, I will never understand why other people think it is okay to tell you how many children you SHOULD have. It isn’t okay and it isn’t anyone’s place either. These are some of the questions/statements I have received from others:

• YOUR ONLY CHILD WILL BE SPOILT: She will only be spoilt if I raise her to be spoilt. There are many children with siblings who are spoilt brats.
• IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANOTHER ONE, YOU WILL HAVE TO KEEP HER BUSY: Yes, that is why I had a child – so that I could spend time with her.
• SHE WILL BE LONELY – She goes to school, she will have friends and family too.
• SHE WON’T LEARN TO SHARE: Never been proven. In fact, since she doesn’t have to share at home I am sure she will be more than happy to share when out or with friends.

Only to name the few main ones!

What are my reasons? Well, besides that it’s our choice, it’s exactly that – our CHOICE.

Financially – things aren’t like they were in life 30 years ago. Life has changed, things have become expensive. I would rather give my only all that she needs to have good opportunities instead of trying to find a way to get by.

That feeling – I always grew up thinking I wanted 2 children and then when I had my first (and only) baby, I felt complete. I have absolutely no need and no urge to have another child. That is my main reason – because I don’t want to. I am happy with our family of three. It feels totally perfect as is and I simply cannot picture another child running around. This is my #1 reason. I think if I had all the money in the world, I would still not want another child. And that makes me realise that my reason is purely choice and not finances.

I see multiple siblings running around in the shops and I just think “Thank goodness that is NOT me.” It is not what I want for us. Not now. Not ever.

God decides where our life goes and what happens and I will see if we are still a family of three in a few years time, but while I have the choice, our family is perfect and complete. If we change our mind in the future – so be it, but we are both 100% on the same page with us being completely, totally ONE & DONE!

“God blessed me with the perfect child – why would I want to change that”- Unknown